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January 08, 2005

The Two Worst Cliches

These cliches should be banned on the Federal Level.  Anyone using either of these phrases should deported:


  • "It Could Have Been Worse" - This cheap and silly piece of journalistic hoo-ha makes my blood boil.  A crack newscaster is standing on a beach in Banda Ache where tens of thousands of people lost their lives, their loved ones, their livelihoods, their innocence. A monkey with a microphone in one hand while the other is shielding his brow from the flames that swept through an entire neighborhood, maiming denizens and rescuers, destroying property, and scarring the environment.  An elderly lady is in shock as the bodies of her entire family are carried away after a senseless gang-related drive-by shooting rips them to pieces right in front of her.  "Well", says the boob tube rube, "It could have been worse!".


  • "At the End of the Day" - This just reminds me of all the nagging, self-righteous, overly-trained, pious people out there who have some needly point they have to keep poking into your side, letting you know that regardless of the circumstances or players involved, "At the end of the day" everything you are saying is crap and everything they're saying is a FACT.

Split Second Info

Here's something I can't stand:

At the end of a TV ad for a movie, the entire block of credits that norally appear on a movie poster or large listing in the newspaper flashes on for less than 2 seconds.  What the fuck?  Either show us the credits or don't!  It's disrespectful to the interested viewer as well as to the people listed in the credits.

(Of course, those of you with a DVR service or TiVo could pass right through the ads or freeze the credits if you're interested.)

Holiday Moratorium - Part 1

I think this year really did it for me.  It's been building up in me for quite a while but this year something just snapped.  Like Morgan Freeman's character in Shawshank near the end when he tells the parole board that he just doesn't give a shit anymore about saying what he thinks they want him to say... I've reached the breaking point with the Holidays.  I'm not angry anymore, I'm just plain sick of them.

And I am not a Scrooge.  And I am not alone. More and more people are voicing the same sentiments: Leave Us Alone!!  Please!!  Give Us A Break!!  Even before one holiday ends, the next is being shoved in our faces.  Christmas music is playing during Thanksgiving dinner.  A car bomb that blows up a gramme school in Iraq is playing second fiddle to the Salvation Army being removed from the outside of Target stores.  When the earthquake/tsunami in Asia story was originally reported, it was hardly audible through the din of trembling retailers seeing lower than expected Holiday shopping.  We are inundated with Holiday Madness... and it is taking over our sensibilities and being passed down like a cancer to our kids and their kids after that.

Enough is enough!  But it's not just Christmas and New Years and Hanukkah and Kwanzaa... it's the diamond broaches and chocolate hearts and cards and romantic dinners and pink lingerie for Valentine's Day; it's the red white and blue outfits and flags and Yankee Doodle noodles and fireworks for Independence Day; the ever-so-somber services and retrospective reports for Memorial Day and Veteran's Day, the trumped up marches and TV specials and interviews and bleeding heart liberal remembrances of Labor Day; the rat in the stump for Groundhog Day; the new and improved and concentrated President's Day, pious Martin Luther King's Birthday, washed-down and sanitized Halloween, stuff your face till you can't walk Thanksgiving, and on and on and on. AHHHHH!!!

Part 2 in progress...

Some Things Never Change

In between the on-going tragedies in Asia and the Middle East, you may have noticed some mentions of a human travesty that occurred sixty-three years ago, when a sweet, mildly retarded young woman was barbarically and irreversably mutilated by order of her very own father, for reasons of pomp and circumstance.

In 1918, Rosemary Kennedy was born into a family that would spawn a beloved president and two impassioned senators. A family that in many ways would come to define American decency and hope, intelligence and mission, honor and duty, fortitude and compassion.  Into this fertile setting came a wonderful cherub of a child who played and laughed and enjoyed the fruits of peaceful privilege.  For a life marred only by a mild form of mental retardation, this was indeed a stroke of merciful Fate.

As she grew into a tender young woman, the patriarch of the family became increasingly concerned that sometime, somewhere down the road, cruel Fate might step in, bringing forth an unwanted pregnancy or venereal disease or some other potentially scandalous situation.  For the youthful spirit had, on occasion, escaped from the convent in which she had been cloistered, for romps in nearby towns or explorations of the world away from the order.

A permanent solution was offered by the medical intelligentsia of the time: stamp out all possibility for this innocent soul to inadvertently bring public scrutiny into the fold by scraping away the frontal lobes of her brain. By doing this, the famous patriarch explained to his family, young Rosie would remain the same lovely spirit who delighted at tea dances and long walks in flowered meadows, but without the burden of sexual impulses that could, however innocently or naturally conjured, bring dishonor and innuendo into their lives.

And so, Rosie's frontal lobes were scraped away.  The result was hardly what had been described, as this sweet, thriving and trusting young woman was irreversibly transformed into a blabbering adult infant, unable to do anything on her own other than breathe and stare mindlessy at a blank wall.

This travesty, and the history around it, can be read in lurid detail in author Laurence Leamer's biography entitled "The Kennedy Women: The Saga of an American Family".

Rosemary Kennedy died this past Friday in the private institution she had been kept for the remaining sixty-three years of her life.  While the obituaries mention this horrible scenario, many focus not on Rosie herself and the inhuman tragedy which fell upon her due to the possible remaifications caused by unfavorable press, but rather on how the rest of the family coped with their understandable shame... by creating some of the most revered programs for the handicapped, including the Special Olympics.  For sure, these efforts have been of immeasurable value to millions of people throughout the world, and the extended Kennedy family should receive the praise and respect they truly deserve.

Through their publicist, the family itself released the following saccharine statement:

"Rosemary was a lifelong jewel to every member of our family," the statement said. "From her earliest years, her mental retardation was a continuing inspiration to each of us and a powerful source of our family's commitment to do all we can to help all persons with disabilities live full and productive lives."

Some things never change.